Saturday, February 03, 2007
Sometimes, i just wished i would not think that much, act on impulse. Everytime that feeling came, i felt like a coward. Unable to do anything, unable to even say anything... smtimes i wonder if i ever had guts, just that many impulses, that many things in my mind planned what to say, what to do when she says/do anything.
Yesterday : My mother caught my sister and her secret boyfriend together. I shant say any more abt that but they had a big 1-1 interview? so whatever happen, my mother did not wish to tok to my sis and i ended up getting scolded for the slightest of things...once again, that feeling of just whacking her came so close.
Today slept at 2 am woke at 4-5, my mum just cldnt stand my sis, and wanted smtg to be done. so, she woke me and my dad up...my sis? sleeping. my parents quarrelled and many a times i felt that i had to say smtg but i didnt.
so the 3 km jog/walk/stroll was alot easierthan i tot. last yr's 5 km was tiring, everyone almost gave upat 1 km...but this yr 3 km just seemed a breeze. anw i tink hanging out with friends is the greatest joy of my life at the moment.
so i came back home, straightaway started spring cleaning, i cant believe i was able to do it, tolerating her and the work...
sm1, if u have any suggestion...tell me, i just dunno whether to just move to an orphanage or to just tolerate....
no one will ever understand me, how cld u when i dun even know...