I have no idea why i even bother, everytime i do it, smtg bad happens. Seriously tried chnaging but no one liked it, changed back and still the same. Opened my world, and you closed it single-handedly. Guess i did with yours and deserved all these but i do deserve all these, just how i wish there was other way out, I wld do anything but whats the use of regretting now its been done and said?

What do i want exactly? unintentionally let you cry? make u hate me even more? i dunno. i just wished i will wake up from this bad dream i am having but it cant be so, i know it myself. Things will pretty much be permanent and i seriously doubt time can heal it.

Dissapointed you a load heavier than anything and no amount of apologies would make you forgive me.

Never knew i could be such a good person. Your words has certainly enlightened me. I used to live in my own world, creating gimmicks to avoid reality and to lie to myself. You brought me to reality and showed me how beautiful it was and how much i have missing. I could seriously kick myself in the butt for missing out all these. Never knew i had these qualities in me, or rather, i try to avoid them for dunno wad reason.

Thanks for everything.

Lone Ranger...
...alone in the dark...

Two years past within a blink of an eye,
And in time memories will fly.
Happy times spent together,
Through bad and fair weather.
We were united through thick and thin,
Thats what makes us from within.

Happy thoughts will still remain,
With more to come down the lane.
New friends in our life
New lives will have arrive.
But its never the same without one,
For our unitedness will be undone.

Though we still see each other everyday,
All i hope is that we may never stray.
Friendships that have been build,
Will never be forgotten and killed.
Our bond hopefully lasts forever,
Will remain as it is whatsoever.

Its a little poem i wrote with full originality i hope. Spent quite long to make it, but still i feel its not enough to express my feelings for the seperation. Doubt it wld be good enuf to make people cry, perhaps need a sad song which i cant upload.

So its the last day, i really miss some already just few hours from seeing them. Thinking of how much fun we have had. Be it snide remarks, teases, dares, secrets, arguments, bickerings, embarassments, we stuck together like paper and super strong glue.

On one mind, i really hate weepy seperations and stuff as ntg cld be done to bring back 2B'06. Yet on another, its really saddening to see how much stuff we have been through how we were united really makes it sad. Like when 1B'05 won the Sports day, how we juggled people through different sports during the 50th Anniversary games, how people were injured and we were all sorry, and when we all changed back our sits behind TM2. That spirit was really moving and is seriously sad for it to be passed.

During these two years, few things i accomplished was that everyone was more or less close to me, Imran, Rachel, Cheryl, Wan Yin, Tiffany, Adeline, Edmund, Russell, Ying Cong, Jeremy. Another thing was that they showed me how important friendship was and stuck to it.

Lots of regretful stuff like tricking everyone with lame and stupid and immature tricks, framing up almost everyone, make factless accusations, spread rumors, and basically possibly make me the most hated person in class. I think i have pissed everyone atleast twice within two years, and my teases and stupid and unfortunate things like the recent " Pants on Yan Siang head" and making everyone tempted to know each others secret, let people take the blame stuff like dat just for my amusement. Sounds very bad, coz it was. What i havent achieved was everyone's forgiveness and the identity of Ryanliciously@hotmail.com( which is frustrating)

Lone Ranger...
...alone in the dark...

Today, was a whole day wasted. First in the morning, parents quarrelled, almost late for school. After assembly went for choir in COE. Sang some stupid Auld Lang Syne song for the farewell celebration of PChan leaving school. then practice till 8 40, had a 15 min break cum recess. A
After that, went to hall to rehearse for 50th anniversary. Our song is the first item. sang quite below par. Firstly cause atleast 80% of us never prepare, or no score. Secondly, because of the first reason, we were like a 20-person choir and not a 70-person choir. Thirdly, the hall has never been kind to us, we have never fared well in the hall or in fact big places because too big and too much space to cover, take for example last year the international competition. Then we got scolded by the producer and it was cause he heard us the other time in the music room with our scores. Then this time, open hall, no scores, he say he never felt the goosebump he had when he first heard us sing. So today must memorise by hard. Then we watched the rest of the rehearsal, i can say i simply sucks coz all of us never prepare.
After that, around 10 o'clock ready so we assembled outside the hall waiting to enter. We waited and waited and waited at around 11.15, P Chan finally get to speak, please do note that we were suppose to go back at 11.10. So we got held back a little. Half of us were glad she finally spoke, while the other half was let in greater dismal as she has a gd record for having long speeches. Not letting us down, she had a 45 min long speech. It was plain torturing. We were restless and i was quite nervous ( after so many experiences) and being kept in a nervous state for 45 min was not fun. I had to resort to banging my head against the wall to overcome my nervousness but didnt work. Lots of other methods like squeezing people, running around in an enclosed area, all didnt work. Worst still, when ever the crowd clapped, we tot it was out turn and then she continues to talk!!!
When she finally stopped, we sang Auld Lang Syne lota of times, our goal was to keep singing till she ended her walk. Our estimation was around 4 repidition , long enuf to take her time to stroll down. Who knew she would hug almost everyone. We sang an estimated of 111 times( someone counted ) instead of the planned 4 times. It was like i was busy laughing cum singing cum asking. As in i was singing and shot my friends around me qns when ever i took a breath and talked how slow she was. At the same time, when they told a joke, i wld laugh and smile my words, it was quite dunny how we handled the hilarious situations and yet maintained our singing, might not be loud though. Then the whole time i was like a smiling fool. Saw our class and a few people were so short they were like near impossible to spot, didnt see everyone from our class.
Then again, i have waited 2 years for her to leave, two hours on a wednesday for a 5 min run trough of the song, and another 2 hour for all the speeches!

P.S sorry if i have been quiet or smwhat bad mood these few days, or if i made some angry by them missing the class.

Lone Ranger...
...alone in the dark...

I no longer feel any thing more than just mere aqquaintances. Perhaps maybe a relationship where i suffer and do all the hardwork in silence and you provide me a living like in the movies, but highly unlikely. I have no idea why i last time refused to let u both divorce and sat there in the taxi refusing to leave. It was silly.
Its like they say, the four world war will destroy the Earth. But i can feel in my bones that the next round will be worse. If just three quarrells and i was just one decision away from thrashing my parents, i can feel that by next year, 1) I will leave the house and stay in an orphange. 2)Kill my parents and go to boys home. 3)Kill myself and live this world which i highly hope nt.
I seriously hate to see how extreme i can go, might even surprise me...

Lone Ranger...
...alone in the dark...

Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the Fibs alone.
Then, ask 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I do not watch tv these days.
I wear glasses or contat lenses.
I love to play video games.
I have tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I curse.
I'm totally smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller ID.
I like the way i look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live on sweatpants/ PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I'm shy around members of the opp sex.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I have tried alcohol before.
I own the South Park movie.
I would die for my best friend.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson's scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Square Pants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment.
I tie my shoelace differently from anyone i've ever met.
I study for tests most of the time.
I am comfortable with who i am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot whereever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without a black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
I have jazz in my blood.
Climbing tress is a brilliant past-time.
I wear a toe ring.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

Five people to do this:
Asha, Wanyin, Nicole, Adeline


Just realise a fact, when you are enjoying something, u wldnt care about anything and wouldnt feel tired. Just today, i went shopping for four hours and i grew dead tired, yesterday, i played soccer for five hours and wasnt even complaining about a single thing...

Haha! Today went to Vivian's bdae party. Very long never talk to her ready, then dunno why invite me also. Making me the only guy in the whole party, everyone know each other and im the outsider. In the end, i go talk to Terence( her brother ). Talk ready then more people came, this time all i know from pri school.

Then after that played soccer with her relatives very super fun. we kept on winning coz got my superb defending and scoring. Then the girls played with us. Still remember last time this girl called Botin kept on ramming my ball into other peoples aprtments and into the huge canal. Once, she whacked it onto the lamp and it took atleast a 30 degrees bent. Luckily this time she nvr played and i could keep my ball safely. So we thrashed the girls, lucky we played on a three rule basis (after three goals, the loser out and lets the waiting team play) or it wld have been a thrashing. They were suppose to be Bowen Secondary School Girl's Soccer team.

After that we pushed the girls into the swimming pool, mostly is they sabo each other.This time i was prepared not to fall into their trap like last year. Then two of them siao, go changed at the swimming pool there, then everyone can see. Stupid!!!

Lone Ranger...
...alone in the dark...

But this time, its not about the people insode, its about the facilities.

Upon reaching home, i had a little difficulty with the door. First i had to wrestle it to put in the key into the key hole, then unlock the door. then after exerting all the force to pull open the door.

Next was my computer. Its really a raging war between us. I tired all sorts of programs and primitive method like knocking it. After restarting the comp about several times, we managed to come to an agreement and worked on the condition i dun multi-task too much.

Then came when i hanged the clothes. I had the good will of hanging the clothes after washing it. Who knew? I got locked inside the back yard.for abt 2 hrs i tink? No idea what i did to deserve it and how i managed to pull through it.

Today real fun, slacked a whole day once again. Haiz...Scared the daylights out of YG...so fun.

Future unknown...

Lone Ranger...
...alone in the dark...